(untitled)

Based on sketches on the back of the piece of paper this was on, I can date this back to Year Seven, especially given the um some of the elements that appear in the story.
I'm really hoping Mr. Binoculars isn't a codename for Dr. Strange or Peter Parker. You do not want to get involved with Mephisto, dude.
Unfinished and incomplete.

---

It was a brutally hot Summer's day, and a man called Mr. Binoculars had lost his fan so he couldn't cool down. The fan shop has closed as everyone was to hot to move. The only shop open was 'True Harry Potter - The Magic Store'. He went along there so he could get buy a book of spells so he could summon the devil. "Abra-ca-heat-da!" he said, and was cast down to the pits of hell.

"What do you want?" A red figure asked, with giant horns and a lots of brown hair covering the bits which shouldn't be seen.

© 2009 Peter Webb

As If...

Sorting through boxes, I found two stories. I don't know when I wrote this one, or why.

---

I was snoring in bed. "Snore, snore, snore." In the middle of the night, I heard screams. Loud screams. As if they someowone were falling from a great height. As if they were in a car driving at 99 miles per hour. As if the car was driving usp upside down. As if their clothes blew up to reveal their underwear. As if their shoe hit their friend in the face. As if they dropped their candy floss on the floor. As if... well, that's about it.

I picked myself up, without dropping back to sleep.

Another Day in Ghana (illustrated)

Year 9 Geography. Unfinished and incomplete.

18th February 2011, written between 12:17 and 12:53. A Powerpoint presentation, representated here without the slides.

The African images I used come from Google Images, and the image from 'The Pandorica Opens' of the Earth comes from the excellent Doctor Who screencaps site Tragical History Tour. Effects added through Microsoft Office PowerPoint 2007.

Whilst "when" is seemingly a typo, it does seem to capture an African accent. The circular effect on the images of the mother and child now remind me of Marvel Point One.

Another Day in Ghana

Directed, written and produced on Microsoft PowerPoint by Peter Webb

Ghana, Africa.

2011.

06:00 am.

Grace wakes up.

She goes to wake up her three surviving children.

“When will Papa be back?”, her youngest asks.

“I don’t know; he when missing after we left him to find a job in the town,” replies Grace. “I will see you later,” tells Grace, “I have to find some water. You can make the porridge whilst I am gone.”

'Travel Through Time'

Year 6 English.
For once, I decided to write within English without using a Doctor Who theme, despite the fact this piece of work is all about time travel. And is one of the worst pieces I've ever written. Despite being set in the Victorian era, some unintentional anachronisms play surprisingly well with the Bloody Code. In a time where the penny farthing is present and heads are placed on poles as a deterrent, the comedic activity of accidentaly pushing someone of a bike earns a death sentence from a policeman. The Tudor execution process is used, too. So, it's after 1829 and before the Bloody Code evolved into transportation... woops, Robert Peel would be mad. It must have been a very unfair trial. Inspiration comes from Horrible Histories, I expect. The teacher commented that this was "a bit brutal." I'm hating the perspective of this, using the pronoun of 'you'. I think Mr. Peabody had more fun.

Travel through Time

When you arrive, you see an amazing sight. There are no cars, no motorbikes and no bikes. Well, except for that giant one which looks like it came out of somewone's purse. You look at the other side of the bridge. There are no less than 20 heads stuck on poles. "Uggh..." you said say, disgusted. You lean back and accidently make the person on the bike fall into the water.

A policeman viewed views this and arrests you. "Your head's going to be on that bridge," the policeman says. You don't I didn't understand what he means, but I knew you know it he means something bad. You get taken to your cell, and your head gets chopped off by a man in black clothes. He puts it on the bridge for everyone to see.

The end.

© 2008 Peter Webb

The Mystery of Class 6T

Inspired by real life events, though it doesn't go over the condoms and the racist vandalism, as I didn't quite understand that at the time. I've no idea if Mr. Collins is real or not. Bill and Ted comes from an advertisement for the NES game of the film inside the only Spider-Man issue I'd read at the time - an issue of Web of Spider-Man I'd got from Oxfam in 2007/2008 for a pound, featuring this villain the Slasher.

Ian and Babara (sic, "Barbara") are lifted straight from An Unearthly Child, though this time as 2008 policemen (sic, "Police Officers" for political correctness) and not 1963 teachers at Coal Hill. Chief Baker's name derives from Tom Baker.

12/25-ish watching the news is an oddly specific, and most likely untrue, figure. Charlote (sic, Charlotte) and her mother must be mentally ill, screaming over a non-major event like that.

I'm glad I didn't go with the crazy initial plot.

The Mystery of Class 6T

Tuesday 19th February 2008

L.O: Use openers and connectives in my story.

It was a dark winter's night and two young men, Bill and Ted were driving in a black van, wearing black clothes to Taverham Junior School. and They were trying to break into class 6T and put swearwords on the whiteboards and tables, steal all the children's work and books onto a fire and burn them, cut all the wires of electrical equitment so they can't be used any more, and much more havoc. However, they were stopped by the caretaker, Mr. Collins.

"Hey, you two, get out of here or i'll call th 999!" said Mr. Collins. The two men got out a shotgun from their pockets. "What? An ambulance for you?!" They pulled the trigger. Mr. Collins fell to the ground, with a heartbeat of 0. His blood spread down the car park, and a police car stopped to investigate.

"Hmm, Babra, it looks like we've got a mystery on her hand," said one of two Policemen: Ian. He sniffed the blood. "Hasen't been here long. They must not be far away. C'mon!" "Y'know, i've only just got this job! I haven't done this for ten years or so!" said Babara. "Stop being rude or you'll get fired by Cheif Baker!" shouted Ian.

The next evening, 12 of the children from 6T were watching the news. "Mum, when's dinner ready?" shouted a girl from 6T called Charlote to her mum. "6.20!" s Her mum shouted back. Charlote turned on the T.V. "Our top story tonight: Their has been a murder at TJS! Also, all the student's work has been burnt! "We are thery very sad this has happend," said headteacher Mr. Picke..." Charolate turned of the TV and screamed. "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!" Her mother ran into the living room. "What's all the noise about sweetheart?" she asked. "Mmmy scchoool haaas been bbbrooken inntoo!" Charlote awnswered, being very afraid. Her mother screamed too. "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" They turned the T.V back. on. "...onds. "We are very sad also that our students can't come back for at LEAST a week."

One week later, the young men, Bill and Ted were in prison: For LIFE. "I hate you, you ********!" shouted Bill. "You're the one who got the idea, *****!"

Plot

Two young men - try to break into class 6T. Get stopped by security cameras. 6T very sad. Police arrest the men but they fail out. Break into 6T again. Get life sentence in prision. Get abducted by aliens. Gets shot by a ray-gun. His family is very sad. They start mudering the people who work at the school and the prision.

© 2008 Peter Webb

Tim's Nightmare

Year Six English.

The censored swearing through alien sounds is hilarious. And, I believe it's the first story of mine to feature swearing. I swear the idea of raising a bridge through a lever comes from LEGO Star Wars II: The Original Trilogy. The stepping stones probably comes from regular holidays to the Lake District. I was pretty impressed through my usage of "half-submerged" (at the time).

"Shag" "Shite" "Crap" "Piss off" "Fuck" "Bastards"

Tim's Nightmare

He I ran down the corridoor, out of breath. Small red creatures were chasing after him me. "Shrag glashiteblahkratk!" it said, in alien, so, I couldn't understand a word he was saying. "Pisekrakroofff!" At the end of the corridoor I found an entrance to a forest. "fraucckkk!" another one said. "Bkrastrads!"

Next to the trees was a river stream. There were some half-submerged stepping stones, but that was the only way accross. I saw a lever and pulled it. A bridge rose out of the water. The only problem was, there was one panel of wood left.

I screamed, and sunk rised out of my pillows. It was all a nightmare.

© 2007 Peter Webb.

Going on a Cross Country Run (illustrated)

Year Six English.

Features three actual living people - me, my (stronger friendship at the time) friend Elliot, and our headteacher Mr. Pickering, and the actual location of my actual Middle/Junior School. By now, I'm thinking of 'E.T. The Extra Terrestial' (a film I have unbelievably not yet seen) at the sight of the name, instead of my cute blonde friend. This school will reappear in further English stories from Year Six. This is my second piece of prose, I believe, to feature death, and the first to feature human death. I'm not sure how prevalent the concept of death was in my Doctor Who scripts. Interestingly, this story features Kang and Kodos at the controls of the spaceship, a few years into my 'Simpsons' fandom.

Monday Tuesday 24th 25th September 2007

L.O: I can write a paragraph in a given genre.

Going on a Cross Country Run or Alien Olympics

I was running forever, on an on. A flash of light appeared. Aliens? Nah, it was pla just Elliott playing a trick wih with a torch. Or was it? The spaceship fell down and killed Mr. Pickering! The aliens came out, the ones from the Simpsons. I never knew they would be real.

© 2007 Peter Webb

"Yesterday was the worst day of my life"

Year Seven Geography, computer written, however the original digital document is no longer in existence and has had to be transcribed.

Written between Tuesday 18th November and Monday 24th November 2008. Probably 18th.

The fact this fictional character does not describe the news presenter or provide a name shows us that they did not actually watch Fox News (why Fox News, why?) but rather pretend to inside this fictional account which is fictional to the fictional author as well.

The absence of a wi-fi enabled iPod Touch, iPhone, iPad or Android device appears to place this in the past. Presumably 2008.

I would guess at the fictional author actually being American, as he uses the Americanism of 'neighbours', and he seems to firmly be a Florida resident. My modern brain likes to think of this being the character of Phil Lester now, however that was definitely not the case back in 2008.

The idea of the fourth generation family quilt either comes from My Parents Are Aliens or The Simpsons.

The simile of the dog at the race track most likely originates from 'Simpsons Roasting On and Open Fire', where we see the Springfield Downs and Santa's Little Helper introduced.

The reference to the Presidents in heaven is almost certainly a reference to The Simpsons. If written now, persons such as Richard Nixon and Gerald Ford would be substitutes, as they are the Seventies of U.S. Presidents (discounting Jimmy Carter, who is still a cool guy).

23rd July 2008

Yesterday was the worst day of my life. As soon as the weatherman said there was a hurricane coming, I knew we were in trouble. The good news was that it would take six hours to reach Florida, so we had time to prepare. My dad drove very fast the D.I.Y shop, so he could buy wood before they ran out. We kept the TV tuned onto Fox news, so we could hear the latest updates. We saw footage of Disneyworld, with the hurricane soaring through and visitors looking petrified. I couldn't believe this was going to happen to us and our neighbors.

A few hours later, I got a headache, and my head felt like it was about to explode. I needed to go to my room, so I couldn't hear the TV. But that would be crazy, because I wouldn't get the updates and then the hurricane would hit the house without me knowing. Soon, the weatherman said that it was going to hit my street within an hour. I was terrified. I was even more terrified when the wood dad put onto the windows fell off. I followed the TV presenter's advice of staying in a small space, such as a closet. The walls of our house soon started to collapse. It even ruined our family quilt, which had gone on for four generations.

We were really, really scared, and I knew I might not survive this. My heart was racing, at the top speed of a dog at the race track. After hours of being cramped together in the clothes closet, it stopped. I couldn't believe I survived the hurricane. I couldn't believe I didn't die and be chatting to Abraham Lincoln or George Washington in heaven. After surviving a hurricane, I knew that this was the best day of my life.

© 2008 Peter Webb

Hurricane Assessment - Second Draft

Tuesday 2nd December 2008

Hurricane Assessment

It was the year 2014 and I was going on holiday with my family to Florida. I couldn't play on my PSP 8000 so I was really bored during the flight. When the plane landed we collected our luggage and took a taxi to the hotel. We checked in and turned the HD TV on, as I couldn't play any of my Blu Ray disks on the Blu Ray player. It was coming up to the end of ABC news HD when th after an interview with Barack OBama President Barack Obama about electric cars and his plan for the U.S.A to have free medical operations, like the U.K used to have when I was younger, the weatherman said that there was a hurricane heading for Florida and we were gobsmacked.

We took a taxi, wasting $20, back to the airport to see if we could get a refund and a flight back to the U.K, but all flights were canceled due to "inconvenient weather", according to the people working at the airport. It was really annoying, because it was more than "inconvenient". We saw the news on a gigantic HDTV with a newsman saying to stay in a small space such as a closet, which I already knew, thanks to my Year 7 topi Geography topic about hurricanes, and when I wrote a story about hurricanes set 6 years in the future. We spent another $20 on a taxi, got to our hotel room, and crawled into the cupboard, missing out on the broadcast of Star Wars Episode 7: A New Love. A few hours

A few hours later, the hurricane hit the hotel. We were terrified, thinking we were going to die. The wind was so strong it even blew the hotel roof off. We were scared, crying, and then it stopped. I couldn't believe we survived a hurricane, and I couldn't believe my dad wasted $40.

© 2008 Peter Webb

Hurricane Assessment - First Draft

Year Seven Geography.

An outdated, contemporary tale, which will not occur as my parents would not be able to afford the flight, and would be logistically impossible to arrange given a crowded Summer.

It's always interesting to see the reality of future prediction tales, like with 'Lisa's Wedding' and the actual absence of robots in 2012, and 'Back to the Future Part II', yet with that the 2015 vision is slowly becoming a reality with the availability of merchandise replicas from the movie, such as the Nike MAG and the Mattel hoverboard.

Another aspect of the present left out of the story due to my age at the time is the fact I'd be thinking of cute boys throughout the hurricane, and wanting desperately to go on Tumblr. And watch AmazingPhil. I wouldn't be making the similie to the alien invasion of Earth, and neither would I be screaming "Goddammit!", though the repitition is nice. I'd be swearing at a quieter tone. Or listening instead to Vaguely Live Radio or a Vengenza Media podcast to keep me calm. The likelihood of me watching ABC News rather than watching something far more interesting (biased Fox News, Cartoon Network, Comedy Central, etc.) is slim.

The entirety of this tale was crossed out with a A4 'x', to be replaced with the second draft, set two years afterwards, which I will post tomorrow.

Tuesday 2nd December 2008

Hurricane Assessment
Year 2012 - The plane landed in Florida, and I exited the plane. We drove of to the hotel, checked in, and watched ABC news. The weather man said "...and there's a hurricane heading to Florida, and will destroy the hotels within two hours!", and I screamed "Goddammit!".

We went back to the airport to catch a flight out of here, but all flights were canceled because of the hurricane. We stayed at the airport* because it's a safe place, because it's a small space. We're really, really scared in this small place, thinking we're going to die, and then the hurricane shattered the glass, and we were sure we were going to die! Tears went down our cheeks, but then it stopped, and we were relieved we survived the hurricane.

We go went outside and see the damage and it's like aliens destroyed Earth - 5 times! And I screamed "Goddammit!"

*toilets
© 2008 Peter Webb.

Timmy Wonders... Where Does the Rain Come From? (illustrated)

Year Seven Geography.

Mock Usbourne Publishing children's book explaining the water cycle, introducing the character of Timmy (who is not from South Park) and his mother. The child's beliefs of the rain being God's urine or wine comes from my own spoken pondering of personal philosophy in Year Three, whilst on the bus to (or from) school (it may have been in the car with my parents, come to think of it) during rainfall. I love this story, by the way, even though a certian logic barrier will come down where you wonder why a mother his teaching her young child 'advanced' Geography intended to be taught to Year Sevens.

Tuesday 7th October 2008
Describe the journey that takes place during the water cycle.

Pitter patter. Pitter patter. The rain fell down from the skies. "Mummy, where dos rain come from? Is it god peeing?" Timmy asked, fortunate to be inside, sheltered from the rain. "No, it is not god peeing!" his mummy said. "Is it god spilling his wine?" Timmy asked. "No!" his mummy shouted. "Well, where does it come from then?" Timmy asked. "Far away from the sea, the water evaporates and..." "Mummy, what is evaporates mean?" "It means when a liquid becomes a gas." "Water can be a gas?!" Timmy asked, confused.

"Yes," his mummy answered. "If a liquid becomes cold it warm it changes into a gas. If it becomes cold it turns into ice." "You sure a wizard didn't do it?" Timmy asked. "Correct. It's just what nature does. As a gas, it flies up into the air and turns back to water, which forms clouds. It doesn't have to be water, it could be snow, sleet or hail. This is called condensation. It moves and falls from the skies, which is called precipitation". It eventually falls back into the sea. This is called Subsurface Runoff and then it goes down into underground streams, drains or sewers "Why are the words so big and are hard to pronounce?" Timmy asked. "With so many words in the world, the only words scientists can use are really, really big words!" his mummy answered. "The water goes into a drain or mountain, and flows through an underground stream, drain or a sewer. This is called Subsurface Runoff. "Don't you mean Submarine Runoff?" Timmy asked. "No, Timmy. Submarines don't have don't drains.

© 2008 Peter Webb.

Diary of an African Water Girl

I'm being naughty and posting this from ICT class.

Year Nine Geography. 26th April 2011, 10:33:03.

 Today Mother sent me out to get some water. It was a long and tenuous trip, but I found some eventually. I passed cattle and climbed through the murky water and walked across the piercing rocks. I was dressed in a light blue dress of thin fabric, wearing cheap shoes, and carrying a bag made of material to contain the water. We are getting desperate for water at home. This is why mother sent me out. There has been a Summer drought; we are all too hot, need something to drink, and yet there is a lack of water to go around. Rain does not fall leaving our buckets empty. The water on the streets have evaporated; and become clouded with the faeces of the people with no sanitation blocks in a nearby radius. So I have to walk to this river, bag in hand, and get as much as possible. And, since there are cattle, to get their fresh milk as well. Mother stays at home making a substitute meal of the last supplies. Father is out in the city, several miles away, trying to get a job. It is our last hope. When this water has been drunk, I will need to return here in a few days time to collect more. And more. When the sun shines on the grass (what little of it there is), it does not spell happiness on us as it should on us. It spells dehydration, long tasks, and hell for the family and townspeople.

© 2011 Peter Webb

Celio the Dragon - Draft Plans

Beasts make a super-catapault which can destroy a whole city

↓

Battle against Dragon and Beast ships

↓

Daniels gets captured by beasts

↓

In prison, Daniel gets a crush on cellmate Princess Tallulah

↓

Celio gets a message from Daniel asking Celio to rescue him.

↓

Celio flys through the sky gets attacked by beast

↓

Defeats it and gets surrounded by an army of knights

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Defeats them and rescues Daniel. He asks for Tallulah to come with him.

↓

They escape, destroy knights and sabotage the super-catapault.

↓

They get medals for their efforts.

↓

They continue their fight against the beasts.

Celio the Dragon - Chapter Seven: Rescue

Chapter Seven: Rescue

Several knights app Cushing viewed Celio through his binoculars. "He's in!" he shouted. He consulted the beast immediatly; "My lord, Celio has entered the Super Catapault!"  "How?" asked the supernatural beast. "I... I don't know sir. But he is a major threat! If we can just get an ar-" The beast got out his hands and put them on Cushing's neck. He squeezed tightly and Cushing choked, then collapsed. "An army of knights, I know. Never state the obvious"

Celio rested after his near-death encounter. But it wouldn't last for long. Suddenly, an army of 501 knights ran in. Their faces were blood had many many scars on, recieved from their many battles. The metal armour was rusty and stained with blood, sweat, urine and excrement. Celio almost barfed. They drew their rifles and loaded it with gunpowder. The "Fire!" they shouted. They aimed at Celio, and the bullet shot out at Celio's underbelly. It was excrutiatingly painfull. Celio screamed with pain. Blood dripped onto the floor.

But he remained standing. As the knights fired, Celio moved his tail quickly in their direction. Knights fell to the floor, bleeding. As more ran in, Celio continued attacking. Soon later, the army was destroyed. All he had to do now was to rescue Daniel.

© 2009 Peter Webb

Celio the Dragon - Chapter Six: Message

Chapter Six: Rescue Mission Message

Celio was relaxing in the ruined Dar Dragon capital city of Dragonica.* He was looking up at the pale orange sky, which had become that toxic colour ever since the Supernatural Beasts came through the rift in the connecting to that other reality - Few animals creatures other than dragons lived there. But then, he saw a dove flying. Celio squawked questionably. The dove got closer and said "I have a message for you from Daniel Hero, who's grandad is Benjamin Hero" Celio's eyes widened.

The message played. It showed Daniel and Tallulah in prison.  "Help me, Celio. You're my only hope," said Daniel in the message. "My grandfather Ben has known you since the begining of the Beast Wars. Now you must help me. Please, and then were can destroy the Super Catapault"

Celio now had a mission to do. He flapped his wings and flew to the super catapault. Little did he know that beast spies were watching him...

The Imperial Espionage Squad saw Celio through their binoculars. "Yep, he's going to the catapault alright," said a knight. "Deploy the beasts and kill him!" A beast entered, flapped it's wings, and flew after Celio.

Celio was now out of Dragonica, and was flying across the world's largest sea: the Duana sea. It span across from Dragconia right to the desert of Tanoo. He took his first look at the newly destroyed desert and put on a 'what has happened?' expression. He was shocked. A dear dropped out of his eye as the silent sand blew away.

He saw something behind him: It was a Supernatural Beast. "I've got you now," it said, and laughed manically. It chased after Celio. Celio squawked a swearword. He flapped his wings faster to get farther away. But the beast soon cathed catched up. Celio only had one option. He flew backwards in an arc shape, and tickled the beast's hair. It laughed. "Stop it! You're tickling me!"

However, it soon got closer to Celio, and scratched the Dragon's underbelly. Blood squirted everywhere. Celio squawked painfully. More blood drooled out, and turned the sea into below into a dark red colour. He continued tickling the beast and it couldn't stop laughing. It managed to speak. "You must die!" it shouted. It scratched Celio's juicy underbelly continulusly continuously. Large chunks of flesh and blood fell down into the now toxic sea. Celio screamed. He didn't get a chance to tickle the beast. It kept on biting huge chunks out of him. With his last ounce of strength, Celio moved his tail quickly and whipped it flat in the beast's face. It's jaw bled, and it fell into the sea, staining it green.

Celio was now approaching the super catapault. The blast doors were shut. How could he enter? With a whip of his tail, he broke down the door, ready to fight.

*The buildings, which were around the size of the Empire Building, had collapsed. Celio sighed.

© 2009 Peter Webb

Celio the Dragon - Chapter Five: Help

Chapter Five: Help.

The cell door opened and Daniel was locked inside. Daniel swore mildly. He sat down and looked to his right. He noticed a beautiful young girl. "Hello," she said. "Hi," replied Daniel. "What's your name?" he asked. "Tallulah," she answered "Tallulah Heroine. What's yours?" "Daniel Hero," Daniel answered. "That's a nice name," said Tallulah. "So's yours" replied Daniel. They laughed.

"So, what'cha do?" asked Daniel. "Dunno, probably for 'rebeling' against the beasts" answered Da Tallulah. "Me too!" exclaimed Daniel. They were in love. "If only there was a way out of here," Tallulah said lightly. "Hold on! I know!" shouted Daniel. "What?" asked Tallulah. "I've got this message disk. If I could record a help message and send it to someone, we could be rescued!" answered Daniel. "Any idea who?" questioned Tallulah. "I've heldrd heard about this dragon called Celio. He's an old friend of my Grandfather Benjamin" "Great! What are we waiting for?"

Daniel took the dusty disk out of his pocket and pressed 'record'. The message went on for several minutes, until they pressed 'stop'. "How will we send it to Celio?" asked Tallulah. "My trust robotic Dove messanger," answered Daniel. He inserted the disk into the dove's beak and it flew off to Celio."

"Isn't Celio a Dragon's name?" Beast's name?" asked Tallulah. "Well, yes, but it has more than one meaning. But Let's hope he does receive the message, though. If not, let's abandon all 0 hope."

© 2009 Peter Webb

Celio the Dragon - Chapter Four: The Super Catapault

Chapter Four: Cellmates Destruction The Super Catapault

The enourmous super catapault was situated nearby to two famous locations: the sandy desert of Tanoo, and the forests of the Republic of Aldin. The large wooden catapault structure of the super catapauly towered over most buildings, the reason it was so effective. The supernatural armies were still deciding were to fire it. It had neen rumoured that the Rebel Base was located in Tanoo's sister town, Danoo, but in actual fact it was located in the garden town of Yav IV. Daniel would help be a large help to them...

The escape pod flew closer to the super catapault. It had gotten quite damaged and sandy since it had driven through the barren landscape of Tanoo. It had barely escaped the sandstorms which had been happening. The sand had clogged up the engines. Instead of it's greyish-whiteish colour, the pod had been given a yellowish hue through the murkiness of the sand.

The doors opened on blast shield doors opened on the super catapault, allowing the escape pod to enter. The landing gear was activated and the battered ship, of the verge of being destroyed, crashed onto the wooden floor, almost on fire. They climbed out of the pod, only to be greeted by the beast's repserentetive, Governer Cushing.

"Have you got the boy?" asked Cushing. "Yes, I have, Master," answered the Supernatural beast. "Good, good. Now we can begin" "Begin what?" Daniel asked, confused. "The testing of the Super catapault, of course. We need to choose a location to fire at. Now tell us where you live!" "Umm, Tanoo" "You see, he can be cooperative. Now, aim it at the desert of Tanoo!" he asked the knight. "Yes sir!" answered the knight.

"No! Please! Don't!" pleaded Daniel. "Alright then. If you tell us the location of the Rebel Base, we shall fire there instead." "Alright, I think it's Danoo" "You sure?" asked Cushing. "Well, that's what the newspapers say. It might not be true," answered Daniel truthully. "There's always a possibility. Search the city!" Cushing commanded the knights. They took a small shuttle to Danoo and searched for the possibly Rebel Base.

Many days later, they returned. "What have you found?" Cushing asked. "Nothing," answered one of the knights. "Daniel, you have wasted our time and rescources. We have no choice but to fire at Tanoo" "Noooo!" screamed Daniel. "We have no other option. Load the catapault!" "Yes sir!" answered a knight. He picked up a rock and put it in the catapault. "Fire!" shouted Cushing.  He pulled a lever, and the large rock flung through the sky. The roof opened, allowing it to pass through. I soon reached t Tanoo, and the city set alight. Only a crater was left.

Daniel was left crying; he couldn't believe what happened. Biggs was almost certainlly dead, as for his Grandfather, Benjamin. This reminded Daniel of when he got his first sword...

***

Daniel had just finished his supper. His father was veoting to taking him to the Sports College, asking him to help out at the family farm for another season. Annoyed, Daniel stormed off, and went to his Grandad's home.

Inside, Benjamin gave him a present: his very first sword. Daniel was amazed. "Thank you!" said Daniel in shock. "You're welcome, answered Benjamin. "But, where did you get it?" asked Daniel. "I used it many years ago whilst fighting the beasts. But now I fear I'm dying, so I'm passing it to you as the family heairloom" Daniel would always treasure it.

***

"Now we have no use for you,"  said Cushing "We shall imprison you in the Detention Block" "What?" shouted a shocked Daniel. "Why?" "So you can help us, answered Cushing. Two knights took hold of Daniel and dragged him away to the cell: numbered THX1138.

© 2009 Peter Webb

Celio the Dragon - Chapter Three: Kidnap

Chapter Three: Kidnap

Daniel soon entered the Cargo Bay. The Rebel Transport was secretly delivering copies of the novel 'The Journal of the Whills, From the Adventures of Aaron Deeton', which was Samuel Freep's first ever novel.

Daniel discovered the bridge, which allowed him to cross between areas, had collapsed. There was a crane, but the pieces had warped far too much, and, anyway, it fell too far down for the crane to reach. He saw a small figure walk through the mist. It was Anton's friend Declan! Declan pulled a lever, which produced a new bridge. Daniel crossed it. "Thanks," said Daniel. "You're welcome," anwser answered Declan.

They de They entered the door, only to be bombarded by an army of knights. Attacked by the knights, Daniel took his sword out of his holster. He sliced a big cut through one of the knight's digestive system. His guts and other organs flung out, and excrement and blood drooled across the floor. This made Declan sick. He felt an acidy sensation in his mouth. He tried to keep it in, but a creamy, yellow liquid with a sour taste oozed onto the floor. Daniel felt guilty.

Knights ran in, but slipped on the disgusting liquids now laying on the floor. Though still guilty of his actions, he put his foot forward, and crushed the heads of the knights laying on the sticky ooze. He and Declan carefully stepped across to the other side of the mess. They entered the next corridoor, and ran to the escape pods.

Daniel soon realised Declan wasn't with him anymore. "Hey, wait a minute, where's Declan?" Daniel asked himself. He looked to his left, and saw a Supernatural Beast choking Declan to death. "Noooo!" screamed Daniel

The Supernatural Beast noticed Daniel, dropped Declan's dead corpse on the ground, and ran after Daniel. The beast caught him. "You're coming with me," it said. "Where?" asked Daniel. "To the prison inside the super catapault. For a hundred years. For rebelling against the beasts," it answered. Daniel cursed. "And we'll make it even longer if you keep up this profanity!" warned the beast. Daniel cursed again. "Remember what I said," said the Supernatural Beast. Daniel sighed, and asked "Wouldn't I be dead in a hundred years?" "Yes, probably, but saying a lifetime sentence gives most people heart attacks, and we prefer to kill people ourselves. Now get into the escape pod!"

They tried to get into the last escape pod, but were too late, and it was used by Samuel and Aaron. "Damn," exclaimed the beast. However They soon noticed another escape pod. However, they soon realised it wasn't, and it was just a jacusi, where some knights were relaxing in, completely naked. "Hey, we'd like some privacy!" shouted a knight. Daniel and the beast exited the room. Daniel was disgusted. Thankfully, there was another pod left. They entered, and flew off to the prison block inside the super catapault.

© 2009 Peter Webb

Celio the Dragon - Chapter Two: Attack of the Rebels

Chapter Two: Attack of the Rebels

In the sandy desert of Tanoo, Biggs Sidekick viewed the battle through his binoculars. A boy of around 9 year old, he was Daniel's best friend. He was worried. He knew Daniel was there. He knew. He knew because Daniel told him a few hours ago. But boys and battles don't mix well...

As the battle raged on, rebels vs. knights, Daniel and Anton tried to escape to safety. They reached a door, only to discover and army of knights. Daniel got out his sword and thought them. He got a few bleeding scars from their rifles. He was tired. He remembered when he joined the rebels; he couldn't believe he got through with his fake I.D. He remembered it well. H It was when he was having a drink of orange drink juice with Biggs, he discovered that his desert city of Tanoo had been invaded by the Supernatural Beasts and their army of knights. He went to his parent's house to check if they were okay, but he discovered they had been destroyed by the knights. And from that day on, he swore he'd take have his revenge.

But this trip down memory lane wouldn't last long. Suddenly, a Supernatural Beast entered through the door, standing at a full 12 feet of it's body's height. "You must die!" it shouted. Anton tried to attack it with his rifle, but was pushed back by it's powerful force, killing him. "You killed him!" shouted Daniel. "Well, there's only one option left" He picked up a grenade, set it alight, and threw it at the beast. He increased the power of the explosion by shooting the grenade with the deceased Anton's rifle. The Supernatural Beast choked to death on the fumes. Daniel carefully walked over the corpse and entered the next corridoor.

© 2009 Peter Webb

Celio the Dragon - Chapter One: The Rebel Transport

Chapter One: Attack on the Rebels Prolouge Chapter One: The Rebel Transport

The rebel transport moved through the moonlight. At full dragon-power, it could reach up to fifty miles per hour. Being the length of an entire classroom, it could hold a large number of rebel troops. As it was driven by dragons, much like a horse and cart, the interior was mostly made up of white corridoors, used as sleeping and entertainment quaters. The stirdy doors had an automatic locking system so there could be no intruders. But it didn't always work...
Daniel Hero, a young boy of around 7 or 8 years old, activated a switch which would give him a small disk, which he could record a message onto, if he ever needed rescuing. He was accompinied by the Rebel Captain Antilles Anton. They opened a door and walked along a corridoor and watched in fear as something terrible happened...

Chapter One: Attack on the Rebels Boarding Ships Chap

The Imperial transport was chasing the Rebel transport. It was driving through the starshine at full beast-power, a whopping seventy miles per hour. It was triple the size of the Rebel Transport, but instead was carrying the Imperial Knights. "Activate weapon," said one of the troops knights. "Yes sir," awsered answered the other.

The Imperial transport drew closer to the Rebel Transport. The knight loaded the catapault with the large rock, which had been chipped away from so much handling. "Fire!" the knight shouted, as he pulled the lever to the catapault. The large rock tumbled through the air, getting smaller and smaller, until it finally hit rebel transport, destroying part of the corridoor.

"We're doomed!" cried many of the passangers. They tried to get to the escape pods, but m "Oh, this is all your fault..." the ship's British butler said sarcasticlly to hi Samuel Freep said sarcasticly to his friend, Aaroon Aaron Deeton, who was a a whill, a speciels specials specieswho has a weird-shaped green head, and is the size of a small elf. Aaron moved towards a door way. "Where are you going?" asked Samuel. "Oh, there's no escape for us this time!"

They watched as they saw the door being destroyed by the army of knights. They were being boarded! The rebels kneeled in an attack position, their rifles ready. Aaron moved away from the door. The door flung of its hinges in a cloud of smoke. The knights ran in, drew their rifles and fired at the rebels. "Oh dear," said Samuel.

© 2009 Peter Webb

Celio the Dragon

Year 7 English. I'd like to introduce you to a rather epic story of mine, and perhaps one of the longest I've done (though it ends rather abruptly, before the planned ending a few chapters following the last one written). The story is a Medieval-like rip-off of Star Wars (to those not in the 1977 know, then Star Wars: Episode IV - A New Hope. The title of A New Hope makes more sense after seeing the prequel trilogy, of course), a franchise which I'd fallen in romance with the previous year, 2008, following my stumbling upon a Wikipedia article about the then-upcoming Star Wars: The Clone Wars film, and its following television series. The advent of this made me estatic, causing me to check out the 2004 Star Wars Trilogy DVD set which sat largely unwatched, introduce myself into Hasbro's action figure collections, buy a second-hand copy of Star Wars: Clone Wars Volume II, get into some Star Wars gaming, and buy whatever Star Wars books I could find within charity realms. By this time I was well into my fandom, and having freshly before writing been in some form of A New Hope, this is what the story took. It also takes elements from LEGO Star Wars II: The Original Trilogy, which extends some of the rebel transport sequences to prose level.

The character of Celio is another of mine which would become ongoing, also appearing in my 2009 Doctor Who audio play 'Return to the Land of Fiction' (original title 'Prey of Black Shuck'), where he is ridden across the forest by the Eighth Doctor and his companions Olivia, Lucy, and Thomas, and also a boy, who may or may not be the Daniel of this story. Celio's fictional background extends to an iPhone game of at least ten levels, and looks, according to the cover art I created, like a red and yellow coloured version of Spyro. His names derives from one I plagierised off my friend, who used the word Celio in I believe his version of The Empty House. I was rather suprised to see that upon my visits to Malta and Italy in August 2009 and April 2010 respectively, that I encountered an international clothing retail chain known as 'Celio'.

This story is not very good, full of grammatical errors, contradictions and illogical moments, however it can be rather fun to read, especially the passage describing the knife's gruesome passage across a beast causing its death. This takes inspiration from Futurama: Bender's Game, which was also rather gruesome to beasts and dragons alike, in the world of Dungeons and Dragons. However, I hope it to be of some enjoyment. I plan to do a reading of this story in the style of Nerimon's 'Alex Reads Twilight' videos, adding anecdotes and the sections of confusing hilarious strangeness to post on YouTube. I've already done a partial reading to my boyfriend of October last year, though I don't know what he thinks of it, and private Skype conversations weren't recorded for obvious reasons. I'll be serialising all written seven chapters, the prologue, and ending on the original story plan.

May 2009 (approximately), and onwards. It's a possibility that this may have kept being written through to June. Unfinished and incomplete.

Once upon a time in a land far, far away...

Prelude Prolouge: Fall of the Dragons

For a thousand years the dragons were the guardians of the universe and protectors of the humans. But then, it the supernatural beasts came. From another dimension, they created a rip through the universe and exited their void they were kept in and entered the dragon universe.

They defeated the whole army of knights and very few dragons remained, and the beast empire rose. Bands of rebels were created, who had many and continuing attacks on the Supernatural Beasts armies of knights. To stop the rebels, the Supernatural Beasts created a super catapault, which had enough power to destroy an entire city. And the rebels knew they had to stop them...

© 2009 Peter Webb

The Fantastic Four

The fantastic foursome stood in the quarters of one Dr. Reed Richards - famed scientist, sided by his best friend, Ben Grimm, who had met together in university over a decade prior; Reed's girlfriend, Sue Storm, and her brother Johnny. Reed Richards, thirty-five, and Ben Grimm had had experience in Second World War combat prior to beginning campus. Now they are sided with friends and lovers and supposed family - Richards in a suit of blue, stove-pipe in hand; his brown hair already fading to the color of gray - Grimm in an expensive patterned green suit - Ms. Storm sexy, slim pink get-up - also fashionable - Mr. Storm showed his cuteness with a white shirt and orange pullover; his blond hair and sweet likeness attractive to the ladies. The room of four sides was gray and decorated with an array of dusting books. The day was getting late. Fury and anger and tiredness was amongst them all. Richards stood, considerate. "If you want to fly to the stars, then you pilot the ship! Count me out!" were the words that stormed out of Ben Grimm's mouth. After all, Reed Richards was the eldest of the group, and surely the most intelligent of them. "You know we haven't done enough research into the effect of cosmic rays! They might kill us all out in space!" For a moment, Ben actually sounded serious, actually genuinely concerned. The space race of the Soviets was growing enormously. America had to show that it is the greatest in this war of nations. Perhaps a final convincing blow to the dumb-founded Ben, Sue cried out and voiced the communist concern.

Black Shuck - Epilogue: Funeral of a Friend

Epilogue: Funeral of a Friend

After the continuation of my Grandad's funeral, the lives lost today were remembered. Tears ran down our faces. But at least they'ed have a peacefull afterlife with innocent Black Shuck.

© 2009 Peter Webb

Black Shuck - Chapter Five: The Face of Terror

Chapter Five: The face of terror

I now realised my apperance. I was just a ghost of a Black Terrier with red eyes. Why should I slaughter these poor humans? The only evils were was my owner. These are just innocent people. And so, under the altar, I gave up afterlife. I'd prefer after-after life. Goodbye.

© 2009 Peter Webb

Black Shuck - Chapter Four: Apocalypse

Chapter Four: Apocalypse

The dog lurked inside and slaughtered our other relatives. I swore something ryming rhyming with 'Shuck'. We were scared. He was about to eat us. Black Shuck. The Doom Dog. The Baskerville. What could save us? I didn't want to go to Hell right now. Or purgatory, for that matter. And then I thought a of a brilliant plan. I picked up a mirror and shone it in Black Shuck's face.

© 2009 Peter Webb

Black Shuck - Chapter Three: The Hunt

Chaper Chapter Three: Ac Apocalypse The Hunt

I smelt flesh. Me, Black Shuck was about to eat tasty human carcass. I glided through the fog to the church. Through the my red eyes I spotted a graveyard. The flesh was long gone on them, but there were people inside. They would make a tasty feast.

© 2009 Peter Webb

Black Shuck - Chapter Two: The Shucky Dog

Chapter Two: A Church in Nottingham. The Shucky Dog

After having tiny burgers at Little Chef in my Black suit and we arrived we realised there were only a few people there. Just Auntie Steph, 'Auntie' Jo, Robert and us. After his ashes were burnt and t a rememberance inside the church, a black terrier with red eyes burst through the doors. It was Black Shuck.

© 2009 Peter Webb

Black Shuck - Chapter One: Collision Car

Chapter One: Ringland, the near future Collision Car

It was a bleak, dark night. Our car was driving through Ringland. The only source of light was our car headlights. We were on our way to my Grandad 'with the beard''s funeral. It was going to be a sad day for all of us. Not because of his burial, but because of the slaughter of hundreds of people because by a black, ghostly terrier with red eyes.

Our car narrowly avoided a collision with another vehicle and my dad cursed. After hours of driving, forced to eat from Little Chef, we arrived. This was the terrible part.

© 2009 Peter Webb

Black Shuck - Prologue: Dog Days

I will be serialising this story throughout the week, lasting five chapters, a prologue, and an epilogue. It's a first-person reimagining of the hell-hound, incorparating some unusual elements. Interestingly, due to deaths, both real and fictional, the story, written in 2009, has to be set before mid-2011, but it also has to be set in the future too, as my Grandfather still lives, whilst my Auntie does not. Year 7 English, and it's certianlly an odd one.

Tuesday 24th March 2009

Prologue: Dog Days

I used to be a gigantic terrier. But, when I died, and I turned into a ghost of terror. I developed bright, red eyes, and was hungry for human carcass. That was punishment for my owner, Mrs. Proudfoot. She fed me so little, and I developed tons of fat. I was sent to the vets, and the vet urged her to feed me. But she didn't, and me, a black terrier, was put down. And I shall now have my revenge.

© 2009 Peter Webb

Santa Gets Copped

Another poem, though if features a fair amount of speech. A seasonal novelty, Year Seven English. Typos remain. It's pretty hilarious, actually. And no, at this timepoint, I hadn't seen 'Miracle on 34th Street', therefore I was not inspired by it, and therefore, ultimately, any similarities are all entirely coincidental. Guess it's a popular idea for a tale to tell.

Monday 8th December 2008

Christmas Santa gets Copped.

The clock strikes twelve,
The chimney gets blocked,
A man as fat as a truck squeezes down.

As the fat man is straining,
The lights turn on,
Mum and Dad, who are snacking on pies,
Hear a plop and a bang, and the fat man says,
"Are  those for me?"

There is a burgular in the house,
Hi 999, He's carrying a bag of toys,
Those are robbed from another house,
He says he's a saint, and is a hundred years old,
With a name of Santa Nicholas Claus.
 
The men in Jim Jams get in the car,
It rushes down to the house,
And a Saint called Santa
Gets copped.
 
"Put your hands on your head," said the cop,
"But don't this family want any toys?" questioned the fat man,
"A DS Lite for little Jim,
A pack of perfume for mama,
and razor blades for Papa
all made in the arctic snow?"
 
"You're under arrest for making toys illegially,"
"But every person on the planet gets a present from me,
Except for those little rascals".
The cops still aren't satisfied,
And starts a court case the very next day.
 
It was Christmas morning,
And little Jim woke up,
He looked in his stocking,
Nothing there,
He ran down stairs to under the tree,
Nothing there.
 
He ran to his parents screaming,
"Santa hasen't given us any presents,
We got no presents, Santa's been robbed!",
"It's alright deary, he's in court,
He I bet he was stealing our toys!"
"No, no, no! You've got it all wrong!
He was trying to give us gifts!"
 
His pa Mum and Dad believe this child,
They tell the jury he was trying to give them gifts,
And get all those fantastic gifts on boxing day.

© 2008 Peter Webb

The Empty House (illustrated)

Year 7 Literacy, just a way of expanding upon description. I don't think it's very good. Spelling errors remain, possibly for historical reference. It's not that I'm lazy.

Wednesday 18th March 2009, onwards.

The Empty House

Outside the house there was a garden. There were hundreds of slugs. Slipping was inventiable inevenitable. The overgrown weeds stung like hell. The grass was so tall that it was near impossible to find your way around. The only help was nettles. The stinging made us jump because it hurt so much, and so we got a brief glance at the house number: No. 10.

As we rang the bell, and did a very sounding like a shriek, we found out nobody was in. And there wasn't any vechiles anywhere, and they surely couldn't walk anywhere. And it wasn't the weather fort going out. Luckily, I had some good key hacking skills, but rust was flying everywhere. Inside, I glanced at the damp walls. The floor boards creaked as I walked. The paint had washed away. The wallpaper had nearly peeled of completely. I decided to walk upstairs.
 
We walked up the never-ending stairs. We glanced at some sepia pictures of a family who have been deceased for years. There was a little boy lolipop wearing a blazer, a white shirt and grey trousers, a small girl wearing a straw hat and dress, a father in their late 50s wearing a suit and a mother wearing a dress. The steps creaked every time we moved. The wallpaper was peeling off. After many minutes of climbing, we arrived up stairs.

We entered a bedroom. I looked at myself in a cracked mirror. There was a cup of tea on a seat, freezing cold. Cobwebs were hanging from the ceiling. I then smelt a disgusting, putrid aroma. I thought someone had guffed until I saw the bed sheets, covered in urine. I decided to leave the bedroom and climb up to the attic.

When I entered, I nearly fell through a hole in the attics. Owls and bats flew out of cracked windows. I spotted an old, wooden, golden chest. I tried to unlock it, but, then, suddenly, the floor collapsed and I fell through.

My friend called 999 and I was rushed to hospital. I hoped I was alright.

© 2009 Peter Webb

A Superior Economy Grew

Thursday 8th October 2009.

This is a poem I wrote for World Poetry Day in 2009 at a school event at lunchtime. I've posted an audio version before on YouTube, which is now no longer online. It features the tale of a character of mine, Mr. Fuggleboppins, who appeared in some of my creative works between 2009 and 2010.  This character name became my username on a few sites. Another 2009 character of mine, Celio the Dragon, also appears; his original epic story I'll be posting soon. Typos remain here, as always, so yes I know 'business' is spelt incorrectly in every instance.

On a planet far away from ours,
a superior economy grew.
And on that planet was a buisnessman,
who was completely covered in blue.
 
He was popular among local bars,
and had drunk a pint or two.
He had struck a deal,
so he could heal,
a lost glass robot army.
 
Many people thought he was barmy,
but he could do it,
unless he got hit,
by his biggest enemy.
 
And so they fought,
blood spurting everywhere,
but he got burnt by a ball of fire.
That enemy was a dragon named Celio,
who came from another dimension.

 His underbelly got sliced,
and priced to a fellow auctioneer.
And so the project started,
with help from the planet's leader.
 
The glass was cheaper,
you see fellow reader,
but the robots managed to invade.
London got obliterated,
but the robots were shattered by the police.

 The army was destroyed,
the project was ruined,
and the buisnessman almost cried.
 
He tried to regain profit through various ways,
and he built a secret fairground.
But that was in Blackpool,
and he tripped over a beach ball,
and the buisnessman's name was Mr. Fuggleboppins.

© 2009 Peter Webb

Ebenezer Scrooge (illustrated)

Year Nine English. This isn't really a short story, more a fictional biography. This retells, and adds greatly, to the backstory of Ebenezer Scrooge, if he were an older man of the Twentieth Century, not the Nineteenth. There's some sketches too.

Wednesday 8th December 2010.

Ebenezer Scrooge

Ebenezer Scrooge was born on December 25th, 1944. He came from a German background, though living in England, and become much hated by his fellow people. He faced many hardships post-war whilst growing up in school, frequently bullied, and at the age of 14 he left, and joined his father for a course in business studies. Following this course, he became out of work, and spent the following years living off his Beatles-obsessed girlfriend, but, in 1971, she left him, after discovering that he had pawned in her original '1 of -' copy of The White Album, so he could set up a company with his best friend, Jacob Marley. After multiple unrecorded tax evasions, he had earnt enough money to set up the business, in 1975. Several decades later, his tax scam was discovered, and his both work and sexual partner, Jacob Marley, comitted suicide. Let out to attend the funeral, he scammed both his deceased partner and the police, thus allowing him to continue as a free man. Through the business he earned a fortune, and yet his record-breaking amount was never recorded in records, and so to keep the unearned title, he lived as a poor man, and spent little. He soon assisted the help of a Robert Crachitt, a family man, to work in his bank. However, Robert regretted this, and became a member of the poor, living with his family inside the cheapest flat available. With his wealth, Scrooge's hatred has returned, with even his family and friends bad mouthing him.

© 2010 Peter Webb

Mary Maloney to the Slaughter - Draft Plans

Mary Maloney - 40 Years On

It is 1992. Mary Maloney is a depressed and single woman in her mid-60s watching her television in the house where she murdered her husband in 1952. She keeps the bone as a trophy on her wall. She keeps a steady supply of whiskey in the fridge. Her favourite foods are cheese and lamb. She used to be married to Sam the grocer, and she watches MTV. A 1992 song about lambs sparks her memory of the incident. Her daughter is a lesbian with mental issues due to consumption of whiskey as a foetus, and is overweight from eating lamb. Her Mary's father is living in a retirement home taking lots of prescribed drugs. She has a Macintosh where she looks at child porn and information about murders. She goes to knitting club with her Granny friends in town and has escaped the noose. She is not eligible for a pension and she plays the Texas Chainsaw Massacre on the NES. She is attempting to build a working copy of HAL from 2001: a Space Odyssey. She walks through the graveyard where her husband is buried and listens to Elvis vinyls. She smuggles cocaine. She works for Sainsbury's, built on the location of the grocery. She keeps in contact with Sam by email. She watches Poroit/Miss Marple on BBC One |(see idents on Survival DVD)| Add 1990's pop culture. She likes listening to the Blues. She has no mobile phone. A policewan (sic, policewoman) telephones her to tell her new evidence has arisen from the incident - a possibal possible murder weapon - a rotting 1950s baseball bat in seen in her garden by a neighbour. She also likes to watch BBC News. She drives a 1990s car.

She saw a documentary about the last British hanging the previous night. Policewoman telephones her to tell her the murder weapon has been found - a baseball bat with stains of blood rotting in her back garden.

Mary Maloney to the Slaughter

Again in the original format; only in paragraphs to divide between lesson's work. Year Nine English again.

Monday 14th June 2011, and onwards. Unfinished and incomplete.

Mary Maloney to the Slaughter

1992.

The vinyl spun through the tune of 'Roll Over Beethoven'. Berry's lyrics echoed around the room, as Mary Maloney sat and listened, remembering the time this was new in that wonder world of a secondary husband, a young daughter, girls running around if with no panties, and Armchair Theatre on the BBC. Il Mary Maloney was now old and frail, with dyed red hair mixed in with shards of grey, deep indented wrinkles spread across her skin, several dimples now forming across her skin, and a figure which was certianlly no longer hourglass. Sam's had been shut since the dawn of the nineteen-seventies, as he retired to his family, and the dawn of supermarkets began to spread across the land. The counter of Sainsbury's now inhabited the counter of Sam's.

Newsstands of magazines now inhabited where the vegetables and meat were. Mary Maloney now inhabited where Sam stood. Rest. In. Peace. Mary Maloney removed the spool and shelved the record away as she put on her uniform. It would be another long day. She picked up her keys, and locked the bedroom, locked the kitchen, locked the front room, locked the cellar, locked the back door, opened the front door, went out of the front door, locked the front door, ran over to the garage and locked the garage. Nobody could find out. She unlocked her rectangular brown car, got into the driver's seat, started the engine, locked the car, and began her short drive to over to her workplace. As she drove, people stood and stared. What did this damned youth culture think was so wrong with a sixty-something year old woman using hair dye, with touched up hair lips and face driving a car produced in 1987, to go over to Sainsbury's and blandly answer each consumer's needs? Oh yes, you're too busy glammed up with your umbrella haircuts, dressed in your hoodies cuddled together in gangs, thinking punk-phase music is cool, piercing your bodies with earings and masturbating if you had a home computer. As she drove into the car park and over to the staff-reserved spaces, the thought stuck with her. What impression did this society think of her? They didn't know about what happened really with Patrick in '52. She sighed, parked in the last remaining space which she could 'legally' park in, put the handbrake on, flipped the switch to unlock the doors, turned off the ignition with her keys, removed the keys and slipped them into her trouser pocket, and exited the car, locking it as she did so. She walked past the bollards up to the front of the store, and entered ready for her work. Mr Wilson directed her over to the area she would be working at. Oh boy she thought, four hours at the tills and then lunch at the crappy café. Soon afterwards, customers would begin to approach. Trolley fulls of tins of peas, bags of Idaho potatoes, shrink wrapped legs of lamb and boxes of cheescake. Oh, the irony. Even more ironic that Mr. JD always kept them on sale. Is it a regional thing? Or is it country wide? She stared out of the window as she waited for customers to approach. Twenty minutes after she had started her shift, she saw a Ford Quattro pulling up in the car park. Shit! she cursed internally in her head. Fuck, please don't be her... She stared at the door being open and she soon realised it was what she feared. Her fat, drunk from birth, conditioned with ADHD daughter, going out for some shopping with her girlfriend.

It would be 3 months until Miss Maloney turned 40. Mary Maloney didn't care. "Go get yourself a husband!" a she'd said as she was growing up in the 60's. Now, the Maloney family line is doomed. Mary Maloney didn't care much about that either. The family line was screwed up enough already. The shop was bec starting to become alive. With a flick of a switch, Heath turned on the speakers, and inserted a compact disk into the machine. Hold on, thought Mary Maloney. Is that Ringo Starr? As the lyrics of the song began, she was proved correct. At least they were taking a stepback, and not going into those modern boybands, girls in bras singing lightly, and the punk leftovers from the previous decade."In the town where I was born, lived a man who sailed to sea, and he told us of his life, in the land of submarines..." sang Ringo, as the disc continued to spin round whilst being hit by a laser. When it hit "We all live in a yellow submarine...", Ms. Maloney had reached the door, and with a kiss the automated doors opened. Mary was so much dreading this. As her eyes glanced, she was relieved to see she was not approaching the tills to say hi. And soon, more people began to spread inside. She and her partner glanced through the magazines. She picked up a copy of The Times... and her girlfriend picked up a copy of the Gay Times. As the song reached Ringo's sound effect of bubbles, Maureen Maloney had spotted her mother, and began to walk up to the tills. THE till Mary had her shift at. Bugger. Soon began a series of hellos. Mary didn't give it much effort, replying to her blandly with a "Hullo", very reminiscent of Patrick's responses to her on that tired night. "How's it going mummy?" asked Maureen. With another bland response, Mary replied "Alright," gave it a pause and added "Thanks." "I love you so much!" she said in a cutesy voice. "You love HER too," was Mary's drab response. "Yes, I do, very much so," replied Maureen, and let out another kiss, as Mary felt disgusted by it. By now, the song had faded out. Please don't let it be 90's... Mary wished. Phew. Thank god. It faded into The Final Countdown. "So, what have you got there?" asked Mary, as she scanned the barcodes of the magazines through tills, and Maureen packed them into a plastic bag. "GT and The Times," replied Maureen's girlfriend. Mary couldn't be arsed to give a response and they left. Bitches, thought Mary. She stared at the window again as she watched them approach their car and leave. It did not take very long for another customer to approach her till. Other people's shifts were getting started too. The person's trolley contained, strangely, peas, Idaho potatoes, leg of lamb, Glocuester cheese, and cheescake. Coincidence? As the man placed the items onto the till, Mary commented on how this reminded her of what Sam's stocked, and what she bought back in the day. Being in his thirties, the man had recollections of Sam's too, and made replied talking about going their during his childhood to help out mother. The next four hours of her shift would become boring. At the end of it, she ran right over to the alcohol section, and purchased herself a bottle of whiskey. Downing it outside the store in the car park, she then returned, drunk, and went up the café.

To be continued in computer Word document

© 2011 Peter Webb